Parenting

Hubby and I are not always on the same page as of how to bring up and discipline our child. He applies what I call AOS (Asian Old School) where as I do 50/50. 50% of AOS that worked for me as a child, and 50% of what I've learned from reading parenting books and stuff. One key principle that I'm adamant about is this: Tell children what to do instead of "Don't do xyz". This one hit home for me because as a child I was constantly told what not to do. "Don't jump off sofa!. Don't climb the tree and jump off. Don't run inside the house!. Don't hit your brother!"
Recalling when I was ~ 6 year old, my family and I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment in Taiwan. No memory of brother so he was probably not born yet. I recalled one incident where I did artwork on the wall. Needless to say mom discovered the artwork and she was furious.
Mom in Chinese: "Why did you draw on the wall! Didn't I tell you not to draw on the wall." I got some spanking followed by time out in the bedroom. I didn't say anything back to her to minimize the punishment but the conversation in my head was "Why not? The wall is so white, big and bare. It's just like my teacher's chalkboard at school except it's white". I thought mom would be proud of my discovery and my artwork. After this episode, I did not draw on the wall ever again.

Even to this day, whenever someone tells me not to do something, I unconsciously would do the action as illustrated in a recent incident at work.
Co-worker: "Don't click the 'save' button. Click on create a copy instead."
I consciously know that I'm not suppose to click the 'save' button but my subconscious clicked it wanting to know what is the consequence.
Co-worker: "What are you doing? I said don't click the save button. Now you are in trouble with IT"
Me: "Next time, tell me what to do First then tell me what not to do!"

I'm applying this principle as I bring up S but on days when I'm fed up with life and lack patience, I would revert back to autopilot and tell her what not to do. It's not easy re-writing programs that are ingrained in me for years. In all fairness, I see hubby is trying. Deep sigh...