Friday, November 12, 2004

Hubby and me

I'm happy to report that right arm is almost 100% back to normal. For some reason, I was getting more sympahty from co-workers that I was getting from hubby which was upsetting me. He just asked me about it and that all I get.
This coming Saturday, I'm meeting an old friend @ South Coast Plaza so I asked him if he wanted to tag a long since it'll be all women related conversations.
Hubby: "Depends on how your arm feels, I can drive you there if your arm still hurts."
Thinking back, that was a nice gesture on his part which I've been seeking, trying to show that he did care about my arm. It's what I've been wanting from him but at the moment I thought that was such an illogical reason for going so snapped back with
Me: "I don't need you to drive me there, I've been driving with achy arm all week to work, and grocery shopping and I survived"
After my comment, all I get was silence so I realized that was not the appropriate respond but that is how I truly feel at the moment and I can't take it back.

4 comments:

Bullseye said...

I think you understand that when you are living with someone it's hard for them to give you 'sympathy' small talk. When you co-worker says, "oh, I feel so sorry for you" or "I hope you feel better". Sure they say it but are they willing to do anything about it?

From a husbands perspective, if something is wrong then we'll do what it takes to fix the problem. It doesn't matter if it takes time or money, we'll fix it. Your co-workers are not going to volunteer to drive you to places on their weekend. It's probably just our culture but life get's to be a bit weird if we're constantly so lovey dovey about each episode in life. It's really hard for us husbands to figure out when the problem is serious or if the wife needs attention.

I'm guilty of not giving attention at times because I'm focused on work or airplanes or tv or the computer and Wifey will sometimes say "I need attention now!" I can't imagining you saying that but maybe communicate your needs in your own style. Our mind reading powers weaken the longer we are married.

Anonymous said...

From a wife's prespective, when we complain about feelings or certain issues, we are not asking husbands to fix the problem. We just want to talk about it to hubby as a sounding board so we can start and have a conversation and eventually figure out the solution ourselves instead of being told what the solution should be.
You are correct, as a wife, I can't just give a hint to hubby such as "Hey there's a Dairy Queen" and expect him to pull over and stop by the Dairy Queen and get something. I usually tell him, "Hub, let's go to Dairy Queen and get some ice-cream" Men needs specific instruction not hints. Where as women we are on the same wavelength that there's no need for specific verbage.

Bullseye said...

It's interesting you used that example because Wifey once said "Hey there's a Starbucks!". I said, "yup, another one." 20 minutes later I noticed some fumes from her ears and found out that we should have stopped at the Starbucks. We dropped everything and went back.

Sam said...

LOL. I can see how mad she gets when she gave you the obvious hints that she wanted some Starbuck. With hubby, he finally realized it too but it was too late and I was not in the mood for ice-cream anymore since I was full of anger.
That is a classic example of how men just doesn't get hints that women think is so straight forward and so obvious. Once I learned that such hint doesn't work for men than I'm OK.
Things are much better now.